10 MISTAKES THAT DESTROY RELATIONSHIP

* THE ONE WORST ENEMY OF A GOOD RELATIONSHIP IS LACK OF COMMUNICATION,

 *DWELLING ON THE PAST MISTAKES.

 *DEEPER SUBCONSCIOUS ANGRY FEELINGS CAN DESTROY A GOOD RELATIONSHIP IF YOU DO NOT FIND AWAY TO LET IT OUT AND DEAL WITH THE ISSUE THAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK.


HOW TO DEAL WITH IT

1) TALKING; LEARNING TO TALK, WHICH MEANS FINDING WAYS TO EXPRESS WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY IS A BIG TASK. COMMUNICATION OR GETTING YOUR POINT ACROSS SIMPLY MEANS SAYING WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY.

TO GET ANYONE TO LISTEN, IT'S BETTER TO USE SIMPLER WORDS AND DITCH AN UNHELPFUL MANNER OF TALKING, SUCH AS BLAMING.

2) COMMON HABITS THAT GET IN THE WAY OF HELPFUL COMMUNICATION, THAT YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BE AWARE OF.

NOT SAYING WHAT YOU REALLY MEAN.
*NOT ADMITTING THAT SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU WHEN IT IS.
*TELLING YOUR PARTNER YOU DON'T MIND SOMETHING WHEN YOU DO.
*THAT YOU ARE HAPPY WHEN YOU ARE NOT
*ISSUES THAT YOUR PARTNER CAN DO NOTING ABOUT BECAUSE YOU'VE ACCEPTED THAT NOTING IS BOTHERING YOU, YOU'RE FEELINGS WILL BE BUILDING UP OVER MONTHS OR YEARS BEFORE YOU EXPLODE.
*NOT HAVING THE COURAGE TO SAY WHAT YOU FEEL AT THE TIME, PREVENTING IT UNTIL IT BECOMES MUCH LARGER AND MORE DIFFICULT TO SOLVE.

3) MAKING SOMETHING ELSE THE ISSUE. BY STARTING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD OF SAYING WHAT IS REALLY BOTHERING YOU.

4) NOT TALKING AND AVOIDING THE ISSUE THAT IS BOTHERING YOU, SOMETIMES RETREATING INTO SILENCE, OR GOING OUT, OR GOING TO BED EARLY RATHER THAN TALKING CAN BE A PROBLEM.
*MAYBE NOT TRUSTING YOURSELF TO SPEAK SHOULD IN CASE YOU GO OVER THE TOP.
*HIDING AN IMPORTANT ISSUE FROM YOUR PARTNER AND SO YOU'RE FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT OTHER MATTERS AND HOPPING THAT THE BAD FEELING WILL GO AWAY OR YOUR PARTNER WILL GUESS.
THE FEELINGS MIGHT GO AWAY  TEMPORARILY BUT WHEN THEY RETURN, THEY WILL BE  STRONGER THAN BEFORE.

5)NAGGING. GOING ON AND ON ABOUT SOMETHING AND CONVINCING YOURSELF THAT  YOU ARE BEING POSITIVE, IT'S TRUE YOU NEED A CHANGE WHICH IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY BUT SAYING SOMETHING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND TELLING SOMEONE HOW TO BEHAVE WONT GET YOU WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. AND IT WILL HAVE A BAD EFFECT OF MAKING THE OTHER PERSON GO DEAF.

6) HOLDING FORTH, WHEN YOU GET INTO THE HABIT OF TALKING ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT IS ON YOUR MIND WITHOUT NOTICING WHAT EFFECT THIS HAS ON YOUR PARTNER.

7) BEING A KNOW-IT- ALL, A PSYCHOANALYSE, YOU ARE AN EXPERT AND ALWAYS RIGHT.
*YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PARTNER IS THINKING AND DOING.
*YOUR INSTINCTS ARE ACCURATE.
*YOU CANT GET IT WRONG SO THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOUR PARTNER TO EXPLAIN, YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN.

8)DISGUISED CRITICISM SAYING HOW YOU FEEL IN A BLAMING FASHION.
*THINGS LIKE, "YOU MAKE ME SAD OR ANGRY " MAYBE OR, "YOU MAKE ME DEPRESSED!"
*MAKING YOUR PARTNER RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW YOU FEEL
*CRITICISING YOUR PARTNER TO GET A REACTION TO DEFEND,  WILL CREATE MORE PROBLEMS RATHER THAN SOLUTIONS.

9) THE WAY YOU TALK, THE MANNER AND TONE OF YOUR VOICE ARE VERY IMPORTANT.
*SOMETIMES WHAT YOU SAY IS NOT THE ISSUE BUT THE WAY YOU SAID IT.

10)SWITCHING OFF. LETTING YOUR MIND WANDER ELSEWHERE WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS TALKING.

11)HALF LISTENING. YOUR MIND IS ON THE TELEVISION OR OCCUPIED WITH PRIVATE THOUGHTS OF YOUR OWN.

12)INTERRUPTING. WANTING YOUR OWN POINT  OF VIEW TO PREVAIL AND NOT PREPARED TO HEAR OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS.

13)MIND READING. YOUR PARTNER IS THE ONLY PERSON YOU KNOW BEST IN THE WORLD AND THAT MAKES YOU BELIEVE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY THINK AND FEEL.

14)PROVING YOUR POINT. SELECTING LISTENING, WAITING FOR WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT YOU'VE PROVED YOUR POINT.
IGNORING ANYTHING ELSE YOUR PARTNER SAYS
LISTENING WITHOUT HEARING.

15)BLOCKING. SHUTTING YOUR PARTNER UP BY CRITICISING SOUND.
LOOKING SHOCKED.
CORRECTING.
LAUGHING.
CHANGING THE SUBJECT.
ARGUING.
WEEPING.
SHOUTING.

ALL THESE ACTIONS CAN DAMAGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND CAUSE DIVORCE OR SEPARATION. IF YOU DON'T LEARN TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY AND LEARN HOW TO HANDLE EACH OTHERS NEEDS AND WANTS.
                                   
                                                           THANKS FOR READING THIS.

PRACTICAL WAYS TO A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP

I UNDERSTAND MY RELATIONSHIP MORE ,WHEN I START TO RESPECT MY PARTNERS NEEDS .

I HAVE BEEN VERY SAD AND ANGRY  WITH MY PARTNER, ALSO, MY UNHAPPINESS WITH HIM HAS CHANGE MY FEELINGS TOWARDS HIM.

I AVOID  ARGUMENTS AND TALK OVER THE REASON WHY I'M NOT HAPPY
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT WILL ONLY BRING MORE ARGUMENTS.

MY KEEPING QUIET IS NOT HELPING THE MATTER EITHER, I GUESS ITS ONLY MAKING THE MATTER  WORSE. THAT IS THE REASON WHY I STARTED LOOKING FOR A AWAY OUT.

 I BECAME  DESPERATE ABOUT WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO TO PREVENT SEPARATION. I LOVED HIM AND HIS CHILDREN LOVED HIM TOO MUCH. THEY WERE GOING TO NEED HIM TO BE THERE AND HELP THEM TO GROW AS CONFIDENT ADULTS.

THAT WAS WHY I NEEDED TO PUT SOME EFFORT IN MAKING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM WORK.

SO I DECIDED TO SEEK ADVICE FROM A RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLOR.
I LEARN A LOT FROM THE COUNSELLOR. THE PART OF IT THAT AMAZED ME THE MOST WAS THAT, IS A FACT OF LIFE, THAT TO LOVE SOMEONE BRINGS HEARTACHE. ALSO, THE MORE SOMEONE MATTER TO YOU, IS THE MORE YOU WILL BEGIN TO MIND WHAT THEY DO. ADDITIONALLY, MOST PROBLEMS THAT ARISE IN PARTNERSHIP, TEST ONES LOVE. HOWEVER, THE HEARTACHE LOVE BRINGS CAN INCREASE THE STRENGHT OF ONE LOVE.

MOREOVER,  THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO LEARN TO TACKLE DIFFERENCES POSITIVELY, WHICH CAN HELP COUPLES TO SURVIVE SERIOUS CRISES. ALSO WORKING THROUGH PROBLEMS TOGETHER SO THAT THERE IS NO WINNER OR LOSER  WILL HAVE A TRANSFORMING EFFECT ON LOVE.

LOVE THAT HAS NOT BEEN TESTED IS MORE FRAGILE.
SOME COUPLES BREAK UP AT THE FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE.
AND OTHER COUPLES CLING TOGETHER FOREVER WHEN CLEARLY THERE IS NO LOVE. BUT MOST THINGS THAT ARE WORTH HAVING ARE GAINED THROUGH A GREAT DEAL OF EFFORT AND CONCENTRATION.

A DEEP, LASTING, ENRICHING LOVE MUST BE THE MOST PRECIOUS THING WE CAN HAVE IN OUR LIVES. BUT IT USUALLY STARTS WITH EMOTION, PASSION AND EXCITEMENT. WHETHER IT WILL BURN ITSELF OUT LIKE A MAGNIFICENT FIREWORK OR DEVELOP INTO THE KIND OF STRONG FUNDAMENTAL LOVE, THAT WILL DEPEND ON HOW WE APPROACH THE BAD TIMES.

PROBLEMS CAN BE GOOD FOR A RELATIONSHIP TO GROW. BUT ONLY IF YOU BOTH KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THE PROBLEMS. WHICH WILL INVOLVE BRINGING YOURSELF TO THE ISSUE, YOUR WISDOM AND SENSE OF HUMOUR; YOUR GENEROSITY AND RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER,

;YOUR TOLERANCE AND YOUR COMMITMENT TO THE RELATIONSHIP;PATIENCE AND COURAGE AND SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO THIS  FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME.

FURTHERMORE, I'VE UNDERSTOOD THAT, IF WE DON'T PUT EFFORT INTO HOW WE SHOW LOVE, WE MIGHT MISS THE RICHEST AND MOST SATISFYING EXPERIENCES AND PARTS OF IT.

EVERY PROBLEM LARGE OR SMALL , CHALLENGES YOU WITH TWO POSSIBLE OUTCOMES, YOU CAN DIMINISH YOUR LOVE OR STRENGTHEN IT. BUT YOU HAVE TO DO THE HARD WORK AND IS NEVER A WAST OF TIME, LEARNING TO HANDLE LOVE AND THE PROBLEM THAT RESULTS FROM IT WILL MAKE  YOU A STRONGER AND MORE CONFIDENT PERSON.

ANY INDIVIDUAL WHO WANTS A GOOD RELATIONSHIP MUST BE PREPARED TO COMPROMISE, TO ENDURE DIFFICULTIES AND DISAPPOINTMENTS. IT'S TRUE THAT TRUE LOVE SHOULD BE EFFORTLESS, BUT PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS REQUIRE  HARD WORK.

FOR MANY OF US, A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT MYTHICAL UNION, PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY. AND WE WANT OUR PARTNER TO SUPPLY EVERYTHING WE COULD WISH FOR AND WE WANT TO BE HARMONIOUS FOREVER. THE REASON WE WANT ALL THIS IS BECAUSE WE HAVE TASTED IT BEFORE. WHEN WE FALL IN LOVE, WE GENERATE THAT FEELINGS  AND BELIEVE THAT FALLING IN LOVE SHOULD REMAIN LIKE THAT.

THE SCIENTISTS HAVE COMPARED THE FALLING IN LOVE FEELING TO THE FELLING WE HAVE WHEN WE TAKE DRUGS OR DRINK AND THE THOUGHT WE HOLD AND SENSATION ARE THE SAME.

WHEN WE ARE IN LOVE WE CAN DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING FOR OUR PARTNER AND WE WOULD NOT BOTHER ABOUT IMPERFECTION WHICH IS THE SAME WITH DRUGS OR DRINKS BUT THESE FEELINGS WILL EVENTUALLY WEAR OUT, BUT THE TANTALISING MEMORY OF IT WILL REMAIN.

 THE FACT IS THAT REAL RELATIONSHIPS HAVE TO LEAVE THIS FANTASY BEHIND AND THAT IS HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE TO ACCEPT. BUT THE BEST RELATIONSHIP PROVIDES SOMETHING MORE VALUABLE THAN THIS ROMANTIC FOG.

WHEN WE ARE IN LOVE WE ARE COMPLETELY WRAPPED UP WITH THE OTHER PERSON IN INTOXICATINGLY EXCLUSIVE AND EXCITING ONE -NESS. THIS UNION COULD BE SUFFOCATING AND LIMITING IF CONTINUED AND IT CAN'T LAST. EVERY CHANGE IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES HAS THE EFFECT OF BREAKING THE SPELLS.

STRONG INVISIBLE BONDS ARE FOUND IN PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS.
A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP CAN MEET ANY CHALLENGE AND USE THE EXPERIENCE POSITIVELY. A CRISIS CAN HIGHLIGHT THE VALUE OF A RELATIONSHIP, SHOWING YOU HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO YOU,
IT CAN PROVE HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT COPING OR IT CAN FORCE YOU TO FIND NEW WAYS TO COPE.

 YOU CAN BEGIN TO BUILD A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP BY LISTENING TO EACH OTHER AND RESPECTING EACH OTHERS NEEDS AND WANTS.