*DWELLING ON THE PAST MISTAKES.
*DEEPER SUBCONSCIOUS ANGRY FEELINGS CAN DESTROY A GOOD RELATIONSHIP IF YOU DO NOT FIND AWAY TO LET IT OUT AND DEAL WITH THE ISSUE THAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK.
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT
1) TALKING; LEARNING TO TALK, WHICH MEANS FINDING WAYS TO EXPRESS WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY IS A BIG TASK. COMMUNICATION OR GETTING YOUR POINT ACROSS SIMPLY MEANS SAYING WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY.
TO GET ANYONE TO LISTEN, IT'S BETTER TO USE SIMPLER WORDS AND DITCH AN UNHELPFUL MANNER OF TALKING, SUCH AS BLAMING.
2) COMMON HABITS THAT GET IN THE WAY OF HELPFUL COMMUNICATION, THAT YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BE AWARE OF.
NOT SAYING WHAT YOU REALLY MEAN.
*NOT ADMITTING THAT SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU WHEN IT IS.
*TELLING YOUR PARTNER YOU DON'T MIND SOMETHING WHEN YOU DO.
*THAT YOU ARE HAPPY WHEN YOU ARE NOT
*ISSUES THAT YOUR PARTNER CAN DO NOTING ABOUT BECAUSE YOU'VE ACCEPTED THAT NOTING IS BOTHERING YOU, YOU'RE FEELINGS WILL BE BUILDING UP OVER MONTHS OR YEARS BEFORE YOU EXPLODE.
*NOT HAVING THE COURAGE TO SAY WHAT YOU FEEL AT THE TIME, PREVENTING IT UNTIL IT BECOMES MUCH LARGER AND MORE DIFFICULT TO SOLVE.
3) MAKING SOMETHING ELSE THE ISSUE. BY STARTING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD OF SAYING WHAT IS REALLY BOTHERING YOU.
4) NOT TALKING AND AVOIDING THE ISSUE THAT IS BOTHERING YOU, SOMETIMES RETREATING INTO SILENCE, OR GOING OUT, OR GOING TO BED EARLY RATHER THAN TALKING CAN BE A PROBLEM.
*MAYBE NOT TRUSTING YOURSELF TO SPEAK SHOULD IN CASE YOU GO OVER THE TOP.
*HIDING AN IMPORTANT ISSUE FROM YOUR PARTNER AND SO YOU'RE FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT OTHER MATTERS AND HOPPING THAT THE BAD FEELING WILL GO AWAY OR YOUR PARTNER WILL GUESS.
THE FEELINGS MIGHT GO AWAY TEMPORARILY BUT WHEN THEY RETURN, THEY WILL BE STRONGER THAN BEFORE.
5)NAGGING. GOING ON AND ON ABOUT SOMETHING AND CONVINCING YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE BEING POSITIVE, IT'S TRUE YOU NEED A CHANGE WHICH IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY BUT SAYING SOMETHING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND TELLING SOMEONE HOW TO BEHAVE WONT GET YOU WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. AND IT WILL HAVE A BAD EFFECT OF MAKING THE OTHER PERSON GO DEAF.
6) HOLDING FORTH, WHEN YOU GET INTO THE HABIT OF TALKING ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT IS ON YOUR MIND WITHOUT NOTICING WHAT EFFECT THIS HAS ON YOUR PARTNER.
7) BEING A KNOW-IT- ALL, A PSYCHOANALYSE, YOU ARE AN EXPERT AND ALWAYS RIGHT.
*YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PARTNER IS THINKING AND DOING.
*YOUR INSTINCTS ARE ACCURATE.
*YOU CANT GET IT WRONG SO THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOUR PARTNER TO EXPLAIN, YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN.
8)DISGUISED CRITICISM SAYING HOW YOU FEEL IN A BLAMING FASHION.
*THINGS LIKE, "YOU MAKE ME SAD OR ANGRY " MAYBE OR, "YOU MAKE ME DEPRESSED!"
*MAKING YOUR PARTNER RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW YOU FEEL
*CRITICISING YOUR PARTNER TO GET A REACTION TO DEFEND, WILL CREATE MORE PROBLEMS RATHER THAN SOLUTIONS.
9) THE WAY YOU TALK, THE MANNER AND TONE OF YOUR VOICE ARE VERY IMPORTANT.
*SOMETIMES WHAT YOU SAY IS NOT THE ISSUE BUT THE WAY YOU SAID IT.
10)SWITCHING OFF. LETTING YOUR MIND WANDER ELSEWHERE WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS TALKING.
11)HALF LISTENING. YOUR MIND IS ON THE TELEVISION OR OCCUPIED WITH PRIVATE THOUGHTS OF YOUR OWN.
12)INTERRUPTING. WANTING YOUR OWN POINT OF VIEW TO PREVAIL AND NOT PREPARED TO HEAR OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS.
13)MIND READING. YOUR PARTNER IS THE ONLY PERSON YOU KNOW BEST IN THE WORLD AND THAT MAKES YOU BELIEVE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY THINK AND FEEL.
14)PROVING YOUR POINT. SELECTING LISTENING, WAITING FOR WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT YOU'VE PROVED YOUR POINT.
IGNORING ANYTHING ELSE YOUR PARTNER SAYS
LISTENING WITHOUT HEARING.
15)BLOCKING. SHUTTING YOUR PARTNER UP BY CRITICISING SOUND.
LOOKING SHOCKED.
CORRECTING.
LAUGHING.
CHANGING THE SUBJECT.
ARGUING.
WEEPING.
SHOUTING.
ALL THESE ACTIONS CAN DAMAGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND CAUSE DIVORCE OR SEPARATION. IF YOU DON'T LEARN TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY AND LEARN HOW TO HANDLE EACH OTHERS NEEDS AND WANTS.
THANKS FOR READING THIS.
*NOT ADMITTING THAT SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU WHEN IT IS.
*TELLING YOUR PARTNER YOU DON'T MIND SOMETHING WHEN YOU DO.
*THAT YOU ARE HAPPY WHEN YOU ARE NOT
*ISSUES THAT YOUR PARTNER CAN DO NOTING ABOUT BECAUSE YOU'VE ACCEPTED THAT NOTING IS BOTHERING YOU, YOU'RE FEELINGS WILL BE BUILDING UP OVER MONTHS OR YEARS BEFORE YOU EXPLODE.
*NOT HAVING THE COURAGE TO SAY WHAT YOU FEEL AT THE TIME, PREVENTING IT UNTIL IT BECOMES MUCH LARGER AND MORE DIFFICULT TO SOLVE.
3) MAKING SOMETHING ELSE THE ISSUE. BY STARTING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD OF SAYING WHAT IS REALLY BOTHERING YOU.
4) NOT TALKING AND AVOIDING THE ISSUE THAT IS BOTHERING YOU, SOMETIMES RETREATING INTO SILENCE, OR GOING OUT, OR GOING TO BED EARLY RATHER THAN TALKING CAN BE A PROBLEM.
*MAYBE NOT TRUSTING YOURSELF TO SPEAK SHOULD IN CASE YOU GO OVER THE TOP.
*HIDING AN IMPORTANT ISSUE FROM YOUR PARTNER AND SO YOU'RE FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT OTHER MATTERS AND HOPPING THAT THE BAD FEELING WILL GO AWAY OR YOUR PARTNER WILL GUESS.
THE FEELINGS MIGHT GO AWAY TEMPORARILY BUT WHEN THEY RETURN, THEY WILL BE STRONGER THAN BEFORE.
5)NAGGING. GOING ON AND ON ABOUT SOMETHING AND CONVINCING YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE BEING POSITIVE, IT'S TRUE YOU NEED A CHANGE WHICH IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY BUT SAYING SOMETHING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND TELLING SOMEONE HOW TO BEHAVE WONT GET YOU WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. AND IT WILL HAVE A BAD EFFECT OF MAKING THE OTHER PERSON GO DEAF.
6) HOLDING FORTH, WHEN YOU GET INTO THE HABIT OF TALKING ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT IS ON YOUR MIND WITHOUT NOTICING WHAT EFFECT THIS HAS ON YOUR PARTNER.
7) BEING A KNOW-IT- ALL, A PSYCHOANALYSE, YOU ARE AN EXPERT AND ALWAYS RIGHT.
*YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PARTNER IS THINKING AND DOING.
*YOUR INSTINCTS ARE ACCURATE.
*YOU CANT GET IT WRONG SO THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOUR PARTNER TO EXPLAIN, YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN.
8)DISGUISED CRITICISM SAYING HOW YOU FEEL IN A BLAMING FASHION.
*THINGS LIKE, "YOU MAKE ME SAD OR ANGRY " MAYBE OR, "YOU MAKE ME DEPRESSED!"
*MAKING YOUR PARTNER RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW YOU FEEL
*CRITICISING YOUR PARTNER TO GET A REACTION TO DEFEND, WILL CREATE MORE PROBLEMS RATHER THAN SOLUTIONS.
9) THE WAY YOU TALK, THE MANNER AND TONE OF YOUR VOICE ARE VERY IMPORTANT.
*SOMETIMES WHAT YOU SAY IS NOT THE ISSUE BUT THE WAY YOU SAID IT.
10)SWITCHING OFF. LETTING YOUR MIND WANDER ELSEWHERE WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS TALKING.
11)HALF LISTENING. YOUR MIND IS ON THE TELEVISION OR OCCUPIED WITH PRIVATE THOUGHTS OF YOUR OWN.
12)INTERRUPTING. WANTING YOUR OWN POINT OF VIEW TO PREVAIL AND NOT PREPARED TO HEAR OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS.
13)MIND READING. YOUR PARTNER IS THE ONLY PERSON YOU KNOW BEST IN THE WORLD AND THAT MAKES YOU BELIEVE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY THINK AND FEEL.
14)PROVING YOUR POINT. SELECTING LISTENING, WAITING FOR WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT YOU'VE PROVED YOUR POINT.
IGNORING ANYTHING ELSE YOUR PARTNER SAYS
LISTENING WITHOUT HEARING.
15)BLOCKING. SHUTTING YOUR PARTNER UP BY CRITICISING SOUND.
LOOKING SHOCKED.
CORRECTING.
LAUGHING.
CHANGING THE SUBJECT.
ARGUING.
WEEPING.
SHOUTING.
ALL THESE ACTIONS CAN DAMAGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND CAUSE DIVORCE OR SEPARATION. IF YOU DON'T LEARN TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY AND LEARN HOW TO HANDLE EACH OTHERS NEEDS AND WANTS.
THANKS FOR READING THIS.
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